00:44 | 08.04.2007
hello, stranger
hello, world. it really hasnt been a long time that ive been trying to keep myself away from distractions, but i already miss company. turns out, i need them more than i think i do.
so, i have about 20 pages left to 'high fidelity' by nick hornby. and i specifically dog-eared this page because it particularly reminds me of myself. and prob the only passages that made sense to me in the entire book. maybe im just not ready for complicated relationships. This is gonna be long so hold up:
" ...It seems to me that if you place music (and books, probably, and films, and plays, and anything that makes you feel) at the centre of your being,then you cant afford to sort out your love life, start to think of it as a finished product. You've got to pick at it, keep it alive and in turmoil, you've got to pick at it and unravel it until it all comes apart and you're compelled to start all over again. Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as a consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to acheive within a stable, solid relationship.Maybe Al Green is directly responsible for more than I ever realized.
See, records have helped me to fall in love, no question. I hear something new, with a chord change that melts my guts, and before I know it I'm looking for someone, and before I know it I've found her. I fell in love with Rosie the simultaneous orgasm woman after I'd fallen in love with a Cowboy Junkies song: I playedit and played it and played it, and it made me dreamy, and I needed someone to dream about, and I found her, and... well, there was trouble."
cheers to all the emo people. There are people out there like us after all. pretty much summarises myself really.
a girl who cannot believe shes in her twenties. religiously likes things to come in 3s. a pathological compulsive cheater who cant help falling in love. is addicted to bikram yoga and thinks of her current flying job as an economical way to travel.
...deliriousdolly@gmail.com